Giving Myself a Heart Test

The 4th season of Nashville begins filming today.  Normally, I would be excited about being invited back for another season, but I am worried, or maybe the right word here, is anxious, about how my heart will do?

The hours are long, but as long as I get to sit for most of the time, then I will be fine.  The other issue, is that it’s a late call time, and if filming goes into the wee hours of the night, I am confident that I will not be able to stay and finish out my role, as late nights are no longer part of my world.

I should be used to giving up doing those things that I love to do, as it’s now been eleven years of doing so, even if it has been a little at a time.  I guess, some things you just never get used to.  I feel like I’m 90 years old when I have to tell family and friends “I can’t do that anymore.”  It’s like that phantom limb syndrome where you’ve lost a part of your body, but still feel like it’s there…with heart disease, it’s your “being,” what you “used to be.”

But, heart disease is not the whole book, just a chapter…a chapter that I refuse to let define me, so I’m going to get dressed, show up for filming today, and give everything that I can to doing something that I love and just might still be able to do…I won’t know if I don’t try!  Hollywood….er, I mean Nashville, here I come 🙂

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